I’m Ready

© 2015 Oona McOuat

You were born on Beltane, the 1^st of May, a day of dancing Faeries and deep magic for the Celts.  You were a dreamer and a doer, a visionary, a builder of community, of beauty, and of life.

How quickly things can change in a fortnight.  Three weeks ago, you were convalescing from what x-rays showed were a few cracked ribs.  Two weeks ago, you were told you were dying of cancer.  Today, on Midsummer’s Night Eve, you released your body and joined your celestial sisters in the heavens.  Alice Moon.  I have been blessed to know you.

Alice Moon in Hilo, Hawaii at Black and White Night - one of her many wondrous legacies

Photo by Leigh Hilbert

You have been one of my super supporters, inviting me to play at countless events while organizing and promoting my concerts and tours.  You have conjured myriad details into place and created warmth, meaning, and belonging in the most unlikely of situations.  You gave love purely and generously to all, from an open heart. 

Two days ago, I called you, having just heard the news, and you surfaced from your deepening and found the strength to talk.  “I love you, I love you,” you repeated in my ear.  “I’m ready.”

Courageous to the last breath, you have now fearlessly surrendered to an energy that is greater than our individual lives.  I see you, rising like a comet, circling the moon.  And I want you to know, as I prepare to travel solo to perform and teach at the Open Up Festival in the Netherlands, I will draw on your courage and lean into your words. I will remember what you have taught me: success lies not in controlling every detail, but in surrendering to essence. It is our presence, not our perfection, that makes the Magic happen.

With the planet rapidly shifting, so much is in flux.  May we find the shining source within, that which is constant even in the midst of tumultuous change. Sunlight, starlight, heart-light, Moon-light...

I am ready, Alice. And I love you.

 photo by Leigh Hilbert

The Faerie Loop

© 2006 Oona McOuat

Today I went for a walk in a wooded area bordered by meadows. There was such a simple, undisturbed order to this place; I sensed I was the only person around for miles. The forest smelled of dry fir needles. A stag peered at me through a cedar bough, then went crashing off into the shadows. I moved out towards the pasture, sidestepping boggy areas bright with young skunk cabbage. Grazing lambs stopped and stared. An eagle circled overhead. 


I walked towards the sea. The grass by the water was warm and inviting, all dappled green and mossy softness. I lay down on it and dreamed.

Photo: Leigh Hilbert

When I was ready to go, I decided to take a different route, a clear wide path that appeared to be heading in the right direction. I thought it might help me avoid the mud. And that is when I fell into the Faerie Loop.

Photo: Kmax

I was following that clear wide path, when I noticed a trail to the right. It was going the same direction as the path I was on, and my feet were eager to take it. As I stepped onto the trail, I was enveloped in the aroma of butterscotch and willow. I stopped to rub the leaves on a bush to release their scent, then continued on the trail in a straightforward direction. It led me up onto a rocky knoll and down again, then past a small hut used to shelter sheep. It meandered between the woods and the meadow and over the ruins of a cedar log fence, until it intersected with the wider path I had originally been on. I continued on this path for a minute or so until I saw a trail off to the right. It was going the same direction as the wide path I was on. Once again, my feet were pulled to it.

Photo: Kmax

I stopped again to smell the sweet aroma and crush some leaves between my fingers. I climbed up a rocky knoll and down again, and passed a sheep shelter. It all looked uncannily familiar. I walked between the forest and the meadow until; once again, I saw the very same trail going off to the right. My feet started to take it. With effort, I made them stop. I had a sneaking suspicion that I would be walking that trail forever if I didn't change my course.

I decided to stay on the wide path, but it seemed to be heading in the wrong direction. The sun was almost setting and I couldn't sense the ocean. Befuddled and disoriented, I started getting nervous. I climbed up onto a big rock to get my bearings and saw some power lines in the distance. I began to walk towards them. As I rounded a corner, a family of huge, long haired bulls with sharp, curly horns blocked my path. Although they looked like woolly mammoths, they seemed docile enough, except for the one making a strange growling sound in its throat. But there was no turning back. I hurried past them and eventually made it back to the road, my car, and home.

Photo: Kmax

Later, as I mused on the Faerie Loop, I began to see it as a metaphor. This past winter I've struggled with the sensation of having been misguided. I've hungered for the sweet and seductive familiarity of the Faerie Path. Even if it wasn't going to take me to where I truly wanted to be, its beauty intoxicated me. I wanted to be enchanted.

Photo: Leigh Hilbert

But Life had other plans.

"Wake up!" She called, "If you don't have the gumption to choose a new path, I'll do it for you." 

And so she lead me to higher ground and reminded me of my power. She tested me by placing a herd of bulls in my path.

With infinite grace, she lead me home.